1 Year Old!

Miss Brin-

I am so happy to be posting this final letter to you little sister girl- you are one whole year old! To be honest with you, though, I haven't always been happy about it. I have had some mixed emotions about this birthday for sure.

First, I wasn't really sad. I decided it was because I was just loving you at this stage. When you were a newborn and I was a new mommy there were lots of stresses.

When you cried I didn't know why or how to help you, breastfeeding was hard, I couldn't figure out how to get you on a schedule, you didn't love sleeping, and I was exhausted.

Now, you can communicate with me, your smile lights up my life, you know how to entertain yourself, sleep through the night and take good naps, you're a great eater of all foods and you nurse or take a bottle. You are so much fun so why would I want to go back?

Then yesterday morning I started to get sad. I was sad that you are no longer little, sad that you want to be independent and free to roam and play, sad that you don't need me to carry you around or hold you all the time. Sad that you will never be this little ever again.

But last night I was praying for you and thanking God for the blessing that your little life has been and I got really happy! I am so happy and thankful that you have lived 365 wonderful days on this earth, full of life and good health, spreading sunshine with your precious smile and infectious laugh.

You have had 365 days free from terminal illness or even many days under the weather. We have had 365 days of being a little family of 3 and I have loved every minute of it. God has been so incredibly good to us.

So, little sister, I am happy to wish you happy birthday today! I couldn't ask for anything more!

Ok, mushiness over. Now let's talk about what you have been up to the past month!

You are still a woman on the move! You want us to hold your hands to walk all over the place and you love pushing Mr. Lion walker around the house and up and down the sidewalk.

We have tried to get you to take a step or 2 on your own but you want no part of it. The minute our hand leaves yours, you plop right on the ground. You just sit right down and crawl away. So, you aren't walking by your first birthday, which I still say I am ok with, even though a part of me wants you to walk so you can show off your dresses! Tehehe- so selfish of me!

I guess you aren't interested in walking because you are so good at crawling everywhere. Girl, you are fast! A funny thing you love to do is climb up and down off things such as the sofa table, the end table, and the hearth. You will literally go up and down over and over again. So funny! I call the sofa table and end tables your "clubhouses" and the hearth your "stage".

You are so good at communicating and letting us know your needs. You are still signing your 3 trusty signs- more, drink, and all done. You also babble and talk up a storm. You have one word that is resounding about all the rest- DaDa. You say it probably close to 2300 times a day. Lots of things are DaDa- but Daddy is definitely DaDa. You say it while pointing to pictures of him around the house, you say it when I am on the phone because you think it's him, you say it first thing in the morning and any time you go into our room, and you say it when it's about the time of day for him to come home. You love your Daddy so much and I think it is so cute! I know he loves to hear it too.

You can now point to your nose when I ask you where it is, you still give high fives like a champ, and you are clapping all the time. I think it is so funny that you clap when there is an audience cheering on TV. You also love to clap for yourself and hear us say "Yay for Brinley!" We are working on what cows say, where your eyes are, and where your belly is. You aren't much into performing for me, and you get this little twinkle in your eye when I ask you these like you know but you don't want to humor me and show me at the moment. Sometimes you can be a little turkey!

You have developed a new cry this month. I think it's because you know how pitiful it sounds and you know you can get your way more with it! It comes in 2 forms- a cry mixed with a squealy screech and a cry mixed with a deep groan. You usually do this when you are in your bed not wanting to nap. It sounds alot worse than it really is and you have definitely gotten me with it a few times!

I think you have gotten much more lovey lately. You are so dang sweet! When your Daddy or I are laying on the ground and you are playing close by you will stop for a second, crawl over with that big grin, and lay your head down on our chest to give hugs. You will give hugs to other people and your stuffed animals too. You give lots of kisses to me, mostly because I ask for them the most, but you will occasionally give Daddy or your stuffed Zebra a kiss too.

This will be our last month of breastfeeding. I am going to take the week your Daddy and I are on vacation to ween you completely. I don't think it will be very hard because you are not nursing much anymore, just a couple times a day. You love your bottle so much that if I decided to ween you today, you wouldn't miss it at all.

Nursing has been an interesting ride and I am not quite as melancholy about it as most of my friends. I am glad I did it to give you the nutrition and immunity but it was not easy. I have enjoyed the one on one time with you but we will still have that. Hopefully you will still want to come snuggle in bed with me in the mornings! On the topic of eating, you have found a new food you love this month- baby goldfish crackers! You LOVE them and they have come in pretty handy for me to be honest. You are happy as a clam in the shopping cart with a little pile of those at your side. They will quiet you if you are upset in the car and they will also keep you awake if I am trying to make it home in time for your nap. You make a huge mess with them but they make you so happy.

Well, Brinny Boo Bear, that about wraps up your 12 month post. Thank you for the most wonderful year of my life. Seriously, I have had joy and happiness in every single day of it, even in the hard times. Being your mother is one of the greatest gifts God has ever given me and I am so very very proud of you. I can't wait to see what the next year has in store for you!

"I love you a bushel and a peck, a bushel and a peck and a hug around the neck. A hug around the neck and a barrel and a heap. A barrel and a heap and I'm talking in my sleep about you!"

I love you more than words can express-

XOXO, Your Momma